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About Me Member Deviant of Many Talents britbratsamaFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 112 Deviations
469 Comments
7,549 Pageviews

I wish I wasn't me.

Mon May 25, 2009, 11:58 PM
Running on the edging cliff
Making due or passing by
Tormented by the thoughtless hours
Plagued by years you forgot them
Leaving the world behind your shoulder
Never looking back but always wishing
Scared to find that someone might die
And your heart will be forever breaking.


Death never chooses its next victim
Yet death comes all the same
Life’s worth is not understood
Until the life of one is taken
But death never chooses his next victim
He comes all the same
His visit is a mournful one
No matter who he’s slaying
The truth is people, mostly loved
Are gone within a second
And reality no matter how bleak it seems
Never took them for granted.
Like me…



It was 3:16 AM Tuesday, May 26th this morning when I recieved a phone call on my home phone.
I am currently writing this journal at 3:43 AM this same morning.
My friend Kaitlyn, only 3 years younger than me, so young... 15... overdosed and is currently in the hospital.
I don't know what to do. I can't do anything.
I don't know how many times we talked, she asked me questions, she wanted advice... I loved her like a little sister back then and still care so much about her... but that was 2 years ago.
I'm such an idiot. I hate myself.
It's my own damn fault that I wasn't there for her and now... I don't know if I can ever have that time back that I lost. 2 years wasted that I could've spent with her, and now I'll never now if I could've changed her life. Or made her live.
I'm a horrible person and a terrible friend.
And the saddest part is I've been too happy to think of anyone else but myself.
So selfish.
It took something like almost losing a friend to get rid of writer's block.
To hell with poetry. I just want my friend back.

I'm out.

  • Listening to: my heartbeat
  • Reading: the computer screen
  • Watching: the ceiling fan
  • Playing: the game of life
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: GA
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: um... free?
  • Print preference: cursive :)
  • Interests: piano, writing, drawing....ARTSY STUFF
  • Favourite movie: Moulin Rouge. hands down.
  • Favourite band or musician: Lifehouse
  • Favourite genre of music: any type. seriously i LOVE music.
  • Favourite artist: my best friend mandi-chan
  • Favourite poet or writer: Stephanie Meyer
  • Favourite photographer: kedralynn or hakanphtography OR blackmage9
  • Favourite style of art: all kinds.
  • Operating System: def. Windows XP. vista=plah!
  • MP3 player of choice: too many things to fit on just 1
  • Shell of choice: conch. lol
  • Wallpaper of choice: my senior collage
  • Skin of choice: my own...?
  • Favourite game: FINAL FANTASY X!
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2 and my new PS3!!!!! :D
  • Favourite cartoon character: Kenshin. still my favorite of all time!!
  • Personal Quote: "I can't wait to order a Whopper at Mcdonald's"
  • Tools of the Trade: flamethrowers and bazookas durr
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Comments


:icontomwilcox:
Thanks for choosing "Garden of Eden - detail" as a Favorite. :-)

--
Just published!
My 80 page, 12in X 12in hard cover book of my best fractals on premium paper. [link]
:icondilemmanya:
thank u so much for add :hug:

--
Tarik Ali Ozdemir
:iconbritbratsama:
youre welcome

--
"Life is like a tootsie pop... you keep going until you get to the middle then realize it was just shit desguised as candy."
- Amanda Kidd
:iconevil-laughterdotcom:
Thanx for the fav Dear! :3

--
If you are reading this signature, then you have been selected to be kidnapped and thrown in to my basement where you will be forced to draw pictures at my will. Muha muhahahahahhahahahahaha!! XD For more info -> [link]
:iconbritbratsama:
no prob I aboslutely loved it!

--
"Life is like a tootsie pop... you keep going until you get to the middle then realize it was just shit desguised as candy."
- Amanda Kidd
:iconevil-laughterdotcom:
XD

--
If you are reading this signature, then you have been selected to be kidnapped and thrown in to my basement where you will be forced to draw pictures at my will. Muha muhahahahahhahahahahaha!! XD For more info -> [link]
:icondemonoftheleaf:
the same happened to me and freinds do seem to give a good advice, but mine is still going on were the boy is making himself sufer <.< but hey he picked his path, well i hope your hurt is healed and that love well come to it once agian
:iconbritbratsama:
thanks I'm glad to say it has.
I also wish the best for you. :)

--
"Life is like a tootsie pop... you keep going until you get to the middle then realize it was just shit desguised as candy."
- Amanda Kidd
:icondemonoftheleaf:
thnaks =D and your welcome ^^
:iconlord-kevinz:
thank you for the fave

--
i'm not afraid to die. but i'm afraid to dry./

"Je ne suis pas d’accord avec ce que vous dites, mais je me
battrai jusqu’? la mort pour que vous ayez le droit de le dire"

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